For baby Susannah ~ Dealing with grief

Sadly, baby Susannah was reclaimed by heaven after a very few days with her loving parents. This is one little angel Heaven has chosen to raise directly, and we must accept this, though we miss her already. Its tough to let go, even with the blessed hope of Heaven awaiting us. God grant her parents great peace and a strong abiding presence of the Love of God directly over them to ease their great grief. Our prayers are now focused on easing those who were left behind.

Its especially hard when an innocent or a strong saint goes home. When someone we know has lived a good life in Christ or is immune from the penalties of sin goes back to God, they go only to joy. Still we mourn, and we mourn deeply. We feel pain over their departure .

I think this is partly because those who knew their goodness best are often those who were greatly blessed by their presence on Earth. In our human wisdom, it seems unnecessary to face this pain and loss. My husband and I lost our first child to a late miscarriage, and even though we know he is safe in God the Father's arms, we still miss him sometimes: the child we never got to know. Now its a regret, a pain softened by time, and the arrival of the two children we were allowed to keep. I have no doubt that this early experience deepened our appreciation of the honor of raising these two beautiful young people. Every loss like this causes me to feel the pangs of it again - which inspires greater empathy in my own breast and makes me a better servant to those who feel this agony afresh. Still I have not been able to call this pain a joy, save in the light of Heaven's mercy toward that little one and those of us who remain.


I found great blessing in the song by John Michael Talbot "In God's Peace" from the Wisdom album

"The souls of the just are in God's hand. No torment shall ever touch them. In the view of fools they seemed as dead, and their passing away an affliction. But they are in God's peace, suffering a short time, now blessed indeed. But they are in God's peace, for the souls of the just are blessed indeed. Though the just die young, their souls are at rest, in a short time their souls are perfected. Snatched away lest evil pervert their minds. God spared them the weight of the world."

I felt a couple of the testimonies in the comments for baby Susannah were worth sharing::

The Lamb Story

There is a story of sweetness and beauty which flashes its light upon every couple who has lost a little one; this is a story concerning a custom in the Alps. In the summer time, when the grass in the lower valleys dries up and withers, the shepherds seek to lead their sheep up the winding, thorny, and stony pathway. The sheep are reluctant to take the hardships; so they turn back and will not follow very far. The shepherds make repeated attempts, but the timid sheep turn back. Finally, a shepherd reaches into the flock and takes a little lamb and places it under his arm, and them he reaches in and takes up another lamb and places it under the other arm. Then he starts out up the precipitous pathway; soon the mother sheep start to follow, and afterward the entire flock. They ascend the tortuous trail to green pastures.

The great shepherd of the sheep, the Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior, has reached into the flock, and He has picked our lamb. He did not do it to rob us, but to lead us out and upward. He has richer and greener pastures for us and He wants us to follow. Will you follow Him? You will if you catch a glimpse of Him. (Author Unknown)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He knows the hopes and dreams of each heart that loved her. He alone knows the sorrow that grips each one. When so much has been lost, He alone is our comfort, solace, hope and reason to meet each day.

As milestones of life pass, it will seem so unfair to not have this little one to mark them, but there is so much more to eternity than this. You will see other arms filled with what you longed for . . . others will learn to walk, to talk, to run and play. The tempter will whisper his bitterness and accusations and you will grieve and wonder the unanswerable questions. But God is faithful to fill your hearts and arms with things you could not have held without this loss.

For all that we crave, He wants better things for us. His love for all concerned is greater than our own. When it hurts too much for words, He knows. He understands. He grants comfort and peace that none else offers. Weep in His arms. Gaze steadfast into His face. See? He has wounds. He, too has suffered loss. He knows, and He will not forsake His own. SC

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another mourner offered this hymn as encouragement

Safe in the arms of Jesus

Safe in the arms of Jesus, safe on His gentle breast,
There by His love o’ershaded, sweetly my soul shall rest.
Hark! ’tis the voice of angels, borne in a song to me.
Over the fields of glory, over the jasper sea.
Refrain

Safe in the arms of Jesus, safe on His gentle breast
There by His love o’ershaded, sweetly my soul shall rest.

Safe in the arms of Jesus, safe from corroding care,
Safe from the world’s temptations, sin cannot harm me there.
Free from the blight of sorrow, free from my doubts and fears;
Only a few more trials, only a few more tears!

Refrain

Jesus, my heart’s dear Refuge, Jesus has died for me;
Firm on the Rock of Ages, ever my trust shall be.
Here let me wait with patience, wait till the night is over;
Wait till I see the morning break on the golden shore.

There is hope for the departed who knew God but didn't walk in Christ as they should have done, especially if their loved ones will pray for them, but that is another post.

Welcome home to heaven, little one. We shall miss you until we meet you there. Blessed are we who mourn, for we shall be comforted. Blessed are you, child, who may now behold the face of God.

Well-balanced! :-)

Susan, you are Balanced-brained

That means you are able to draw on the strengths of both the right and left hemispheres of your brain, depending upon a given situation.

When you need to explain a complicated process to someone, or plan a detailed vacation, the left hemisphere of your brain, which is responsible for your ability to solve problems logically, might kick in. But if you were critiquing an art opening or coming up with an original way to file papers, the right side of your brain, which is responsible for noticing subtle details in things, might take over.

While many people have clearly dominant left- or right-brained tendencies, you are able to draw on skills from both hemispheres of your brain. This rare combination makes you a very creative and flexible thinker.

The down side to being balanced-brained is that you may sometimes feel paralyzed by indecision when the two hemispheres of your brain are competing to solve a problem in their own unique ways.

Take this test

Happy St Patrick's day!

We're not particularly Irish, though we are somewhat Gaelic. My husband's family is mostly Scottish. I get my Celtic side from my French/English/German roots.

Nevertheless, my family has always remembered St Patrick's Day. Seems worth doing. After all, St Pats & St Nicholas are about the only saint feast days that most everyone remembers.

Please accept our warmest wishes for a wonderful St Patrick's Day.

May the flowers near ya bloom fair,
May your heart be without care
May you get lots of fresh air
May the birds miss pooping on your hair
May your troubles go away and stay 'zere
In fact, may your troubles get eaten by a bear.

If you click the image below you can see the 2007 St Patrick's day card Rebecca made for us all

May your day be truly blest!

Blogthingeringingness..yeah

Just having fun with a few quizzes. Feel free to call yourself tagged if you want to do a few

I get started by reading Dorothy's blog


Because she had this quiz about red. I got the same results she did :-D

You Are Apple Red

You're never one to take life too seriously, and because of it, you're a ton of fun. And although you have a great sense of humor, you are never superficial. Deep and caring, you do like to get to the core of people - to understand them well. However, any probing you do is light hearted and fun, sometimes causing people to misjudge you.

What Color Red Are You?

sounds reasonable.

You Are Best Described By...

Impression, Sunrise By Claude Monet

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

So I have the impression there's a nice dawn coming? ookkaayy...

Your Leprechaun Name Is:

Moneybags Cabbageleaf

What's Your Leprechaun Name?

Only if I get the bags of money with the goofy name LOL

You Are a Creative Gift Giver

Your gifts are one of a kind, special, and well chosen. Whether you've made it yourself or searched all over town... There's really no one who has more of a personal touch than you.

What Kind of Gift Giver Are You?

sometimes, yes sometimes, no

You Are Pumpkin Pie

You're the perfect combo of uniqueness and quality Those who like you are looking for something (someone!) special

What Kind of Pie Are You?

pumpkin pie is deeelliiccious! And good for you too!

You Are 84% Texas

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. This ain't your first rodeo!

How Texas Are You?

You can keep your butter where you like but *I* am not going anywhere near you.... LOL

You Are 84% Thankful

You're an incredibly thankful person, and everyone around you feels very appreciated. You inspire people to be more optimistic, forgiving, and grateful.

How Thankful Are You?

Well- I can honestly say I try to be!

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world. And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it! The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

Your Linguistic Profile:

40% General American English

30% Dixie

15% Yankee

5% Midwestern

5% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Your World View

You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content. You value kindness and try to live by your ideals. You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material. You respect truth and are flexible. You like people, and they can readily make friends with you. You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you.

What Is Your World View?

Wild & crazy news!

Heard about the Killer Frogs?
(thanks Chris)

How the federal dept of transportation banning Vista?
(thanks Bill)

or that Viacom is threatening Google?

Its a mad mad mad mad mad world out there. Course, if you don't agree yet -

then you can get your daily dose of the unusual in this paper until you do ;-)

Say cheese..I said CHEESE? Guys? Guys?

This is a photo my Mom took years ago. She was planning to take a real picture of us after church but her camera acted up and by the time she was ready, only Becka & I were still even remotely dressed for it (Tom was feeling poorly then too, poor guy. Only back then nobody managed to find out what was really wrong.) and we weren't paying attention either, evidently. She finally snapped a shot anyway. Kinda a day in the life kinda thing ;-)

Definitely the worst family photo we ever took. Feel free to laugh your head off!

Hanging on a Moment

Sometimes life isn't lived day by day, but moment by moment--seeking guidance and peace with every breath, trying to stay in the grace, mercy, and peace of Yeshua. I've seen plenty of seasons like that in my life. I am not as stressed as I might once have been by a series of curve balls, and I have certainly seen much worse ones, even in recent years but... it sure hasn't been boring lately! The car broke down while I was out with my Mom & kids but stopped at the post office right by the auto parts store. I didn't know it was overheating when I shut it down but it was a good thing I did! Tom was able to come and repair it about immediately because it was already off when we found out there was a problem. That was definitely grace in action.


Becka is facing her big test in a week - presuming the right kind of certificate gets here in time for her to get her ID. If it doesn't we'll have to reschedule. Should be fine, but I always tend to stress right along with my kids. Its a Mom thing.

Some idjits had been stepping up their stupidity in the woods and neighborhood roads lately - but this may become a breakthrough for us as it has resulted in Tom finally getting to talk things out with the newer neighbors about how things look from our side. The police were able to start patrolling more, which helped, but this new cooperation could result in a more peaceful times if everybody will watch for these yahoos at once. A couple more of them have been positively identified & the law has been informed. This is good!

The elderly neighbor seems to have moved in with somebody. Her house isn't for sale but she is hardly ever there. I hope she's happy in her new situation. She seems to be doing okay when she checks on the place.

God has blessed us to cause yet another winter storm bypass us. We were on the boundary line yet again and only saw a few sprinkles. I love to see snow in winter, but I have no warm and fuzzies for freezing rain so I am very grateful for this! Tom had to repair my sink after the cold snap too. That's never fun, but it could have been much worse. We're going to see about re-wrapping the pipes on that side when we can. The construction guys have started the process for that too. The yard repairs have recommenced in fits and starts. Its nerve racking when the equipment is here, but it is good to have progress.

Uru has launched & hurray for Cyan - but its still rather wild & woolly in there. Right now I feel like I am being friend enough just keeping my affiliation for Uru Live in Gametap. I went in to meet friends who agreed to check it out the community again and see if they liked it - and it was buggy in about every way imaginable for everyone. The most entertaining bug was one that warped me from one side of a neighborhood to another as I walked down some stairs. whee!

My friends loved the graphics, the voice chat options, and the Ages (not everybody had played the first Uru offline. tsk tsk) but I don't think they were favorably impressed with the experience in its entirety :/ Its one thing for a game to be slow to load, laggy, quirky, and not quite doing as expected but nobody really LIKES apps that crash their computer. When the culprit is a game - online, no less- its hard for many people to justify taking the risk. Some people claim there is no risk being online with your computer off, BSoD-ing, or rebooting -but, the majority do not believe this. I know I don't. Too many bugs in the past have sought to reboot machines so as to slip something past people's protections.



Here's hoping they can make this graceful bird soar. They have another chance to make something memorably cool & save their company while doing what they love best. I am still rooting for them. I sincerely hope they find whatever or whoever is causing the worst problems. If they can just do that, Uru will be worth everyone's time -including yours. If you are feeling adventurous, please feel free to check them out now.

On the home front, our son loves his new haircut. We took him to the new place and the lady asked him what sort of cut he wanted. William agreed that something like the short style a fellow was sporting in a big picture on the wall would be okay (as long as it didn't stand up like that :) The stylist agreed to skip the gel and set to work. When she was done both she and our ds were drawing compliments from the other customers and stylist, because she had indeed managed to duplicate the haircut exactly --and it suited our son admirably!

Also, I said a bit ago that Kol Simcha was the only thing now that I hadn't been able to replace in one way or another. Well, no longer! We have the cd albums we missed for so long --and they are just as big a blessing as we remembered. The ministry re=released them and we were able to get in touch. Praise God! I especially recommend 'Sound of Joy.' You can hear snippets here

& I have just gotten a ton of other adventure games to play in whatever free time I can find. I even won a new one- Secrets of Atlantis! WOOHOO!!! This time the experience was what it ought to be. I got the game in a couple of weeks of having my name drawn with a sincere-sounding note of Congratulations! from those running the drawing. It was a delight to respond in kind, and thank them most joyfully for the wonderful gift which I am now enjoying!

So we've definitely still got some trials but we also have reasons for happiness. Biggest disappointment at the moment is that we haven't yet won the lottery

Good Sayings 3

Deep peace of the rising star to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the rolling wave to you.
Deep peace of the gentle earth to you.
Deep peace of the bright blue sky to you.

Deep peace of the gentle breeze to you.
Deep peace of the Son of Peace to you.

May peace fill your soul and make you whole.
Saint Columbia

You can complain because roses have thorns.
Or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
Ziggy

We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit .
Aristotle

It's the action, not the fruit of the action, that's important.
You have to do the right thing....
You may never know what results come from your action.
But if you do nothing, there will be no result.
Mahatma Gandhi

Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.
Kindness in giving creates love.
Lao-Tzu

The true voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes but in seeing with new eyes.
Anomymous

The real hope is not in something we think we can do,
but in God, who is making something good out of it
in some way we cannot see.
Thomas Merton

We serve life, not because it is broken,
but because it is holy.
Mother Theresa

Perhaps we are too embarrassed or to frightened of the
consequences of showing that we actually care.
But why not risk it anyway? Begin, today.
Carry out a random act of seemingly senseless kindness,
with no expectation of reward or punishment.
Safe in the knowledge that one day someone,
somewhere might do the same for you.
Princess Diana

Rebecca as a baby

Thoughts worth reflecting on, yes?

Family Resemblance

This is the reason Becka had no trouble picking out which one was me in the old photo. Here she is at the pretty much the same age :)

Learning from Memory Lane - 1

Mom found this old Easter picture from the house where we lived with a friend when I was little. I am the little 3.5 yr old girl in the greenish dress. The others you see are her friend's kids. I was happy then. I loved my sisters. I loved my Mom & my 'other Mom.'

We moved in with C. in beach area, when Mom was invited up there to join the psychic people after her divorce. She didn't get much child support for me, or anything else, even though she was the injured party. She needed a situation that would let her take care of her baby and still supply needs & they offered to help, impressed by her gifts. They arranged the situation with C.

When C. moved out to the countryside, she needed Mom to come with her and help take care of things, as C.'s health was in tatters by then and her husband was deployed most of the time. For a time Mom was paid to care for her, but other times Mom was simply a regarded as a roomie, paying rent, watching all the kids & contributing toward groceries. It was a back to Earth kinda life, with an old manse to live in and an old farm/garden to keep up behind the house. We had chickens, goats, puppies, and a large black snake which adopted us whether we wanted to be adopted or not. lol I have a lot of happy memories from back then. I remember eating veggies fresh from the garden, walking through the crisp clean woods, getting M &M's along with the mail at the antique, but still functional, post office next door, my Mom teaching me to read on the sunny front porch, and playing so many games with my pals.

We stayed with C. until her marriage broke up. Afterward we moved in with a not-quite-hippie (VERY basic mindset, odd teas, but no illicit substances, and the father had a good paying job) Jesus-is-just-alright-with-me kinda family in an adjoining county until my mother remarried some months later.

My memories of C. were entirely positive. Every time we saw her, she taught me more about herbals, meditation, & massage techniques - all of which have proved very helpful over the years. I always wondered as a kid why we didn't see more of each other. Our visits, when we came to see her at - her own invitation, (she never visited us) always seemed a bit tense. C. often took off after only a few hours, leaving us alone with her kids. Eventually we quit trying to see her and only kept in touch by mail, and that only very irregularly.

Then we were invited by her daughter - years back now - to come by & renew ties. We visited with C. as well, and before long, C. made a confession. It seems that both she and her ex had said ugly things not only about each other, but about my Mom, trying to better their own deal in the divorce proceedings. The slander injured my mother's reputation and prospects in the area in such a lasting way that I now understood why she'd felt so guilty. I am glad she finally told us why she had been so nervous when we came. Now I only wish she had cleared the air years ago. I would have loved to seen more of her. I am glad she at least made her peace with us then. As it was, we got a few years where we knew she was just able to enjoy the contact and what little things we could do for her.

The other thing I wish is that her children, who I remembered as sisters, would have chosen to remember me the same way. We tried visiting with them, & (again) we did all the traveling & bore the entire expense of the effort. We tried to be helpful, to bring what we could to supply their needs at their house, doing little services while there, and not asking for anything but their friendship in return. At first the reunion was a joyful one. They have beautiful kids & it was great to hear about their walk with God- their trials and joys...until it became clear they weren't quite as interested in our stories. They were glad to see us but felt it was our fault we weren't closer. They liked the extra food, blankets, & other supplies they'd hinted broadly that they needed - but it became apparent after a bit that they seemed to regard all this as their due somehow. Sometimes they'd compare our gifts happily and other times unfavorably with other offerings they'd received from other friends & family. They seemed irritated we couldn't do more, like get them newer stuff, move close to take care of their Mom again, contribute significant financial amounts towards her upkeep, & be more available as unpaid house cleaners, repairers, & babysitters 'since we want to be family.' This whole time they kept introducing us to their friends & neighbors as the family of 'the hired help' oblivious to the implicit insult. It became increasingly evident that we weren't regarded as equals. It was more than just a tactless phrase.

When we didn't drop everything and move, and promise more than we had to ease their problems, they were offended. They were also offended when we didn't keep to their schedules, didn't immediately adopt whatever dietary fad they had going, didn't agree with with whatever quarrels the sisters had with one another. (I DID see the trap in that. The next week they could all make it up and then be angry with us for agreeing.) Yeah, I know it sounds crazy. It probably WAS crazy. Amazingly we actually prayed seriously about finding work there and moving closer to them because they asked us to. [btw We got a definite 'no.' Unsurprisingly, we found they didn't accept that answer very graciously.]

As always, every trial has its opportunities to fail and succeed. Unfortunately, their 'off' attitudes elicited a prideful response from me. I thought of myself as coming in humility and love, but I am very aware I have an excellent pedigree and that I was blessed with a good mind, and I HAD come offering good gifts (supposedly because we were doing so much better than they were). Surely they should be a bit nicer to me? I started tartly reminding my 'sister' that I WAS a guest and wasn't being paid for anything I did there. We weren't as quick to go along with their plans, although we tried to remain 'helpful.' Internally I was looking down on them a bit, thinking on the failings I felt they had, and balancing this against the accusations I felt were leveled at me. Now whether I was right or wrong about their attitudes or failings isn't the point. We are all of us jerks when we don't walk closely enough with Christ, and it wasn't for me to judge them. The only thing that gets through to anyone is love. They had hurt my pride, and in the spirit of offense, I was letting my love for them die. God didn't like that.

After one week of prayer and fasting at their church - I gained a fresh desire to have a Christ-like servant's heart, and began to study St Francis' life more seriously as a model. I haven't been the same person since. So...what the enemy did to hurt me, God used to call me closer to himself. I have been able to care about them anyway, and while this didn't result in the close relationships I would have liked to have forged, it did save me from the guilt I might otherwise have felt.

& - while I am at it - Hurray for the Jesus Freaks, the truly open-minded searchers for the Truth, the dedicated Christians, & other counter-culture folks. Seems like they are the only ones I ever met who took Jesus' commandment to 'judge not' seriously. My early years would have been a whole lot worse without them.