Friday, April 26, 2013

The Law of Mirrors

[ photo above taken from]

This is the long version of - "I know YOU are, but what am I?"

It isn't always true. Some people simply accuse you with whatever bad titles or stereotypes they find lying around. Those easily grabbed societal pariah 'hats' may not properly fit either your enemy OR you, your enemy was just hoping to fool as many gullible souls as possible by throwing the alien hats at your head. Those who make an in depth malicious effort, however, do tend to shine more light into the dark crevices of their own soul than illuminate any truths about you.

People who speak very long about anything reveal their own view of the world and others. If they are generous, they expect to see generosity in others. If they are kind and forgiving, they will hope to see kindness and forgiveness in your nature. If they are ambitious, thin-skinned schemers, you must be too. Villains may presume the heroically inclined are hypocrites, even worse off ethically than themselves. They are wrong, but you aren't likely to be the one who will convince them otherwise. If a bad'un can believe in goodness, even when they aren't achieving it, then the seed of heroism still lurks within them, and like Luke Skywalker, you can still honestly say "There is still some good in you. I know it." If they don't believe real virtue exists, then it probably doesn't, at least not inside of them.

People (who choose to be as good) will often unintentionally project on to others their own virtues. They are brave, so 'we' are all brave here, yes? They are helpful, so there must be 'plenty of people around here to help.' This is not always a bad thing for those around them, as it can encourage a community to be its better self, and give individuals reachable goals to live up to. If the group/person rejects this positive portrayal, however, it can get embarrassing or even dangerous for the 'good person.' This can be behind the news stories about kindly friends or relations betrayed by young addicts or gangsters they had hoped to mentor to a better life. They saw the at-risk person could make better choices if given the chance, and believed they would because of their affection and because they would themselves have made a better decision in their place.

In the same (photo negative) way, malicious liars do often accuse along the lines of things they are doing (or want to do themselves.) I have seen this in action. I met a nut on the 'net who often accused me of acting in ways I observed her acting. She kept claiming to 'know me well' and how 'we were very close' - when we never had been. At most I was just trying to be playful and keep the peace, before it became evident this was impossible because I had something she obsessively wanted, and she was going to undermine me any way she could. Still- she really did seem to delude herself that I deserved the abuse. I got the impression while trying to parley with her once that she thought I was the manifestation of her evil side/thoughts, despite the fact that I was asking everyone involved to be ethical (and I got attacked for that too.) The amount of delusion involved suggested some sort of projective identification, parataxic distortion, transference, or some combination thereof. The end result was she kept accusing me of (her own) bad motives in all I said or did. Those who believed those lies, rather than using their own observational skills, subsequently found my personality and behavior repeatedly baffling, as it didn't line up with the slander.

Naturally not. I am a very different personality type with very different worldviews than those ascribed to me by badly-needs-a-therapist! Meantime, noting those who kept being 'surprised' by my decency gave me warning of where her efforts were concentrated, and which of those 'friends' were untrustworthy. [Seriously, never deeply trust anyone who turns that easily on you, even if they turn back. You can like them just fine, be kind etc., just don't rely on them. ]

Those who listened to her rants heard enough from her naughty mind that if they ever applied that slander back to its source, she’d never be able to fool them again. Honestly, however, I think some 'monkeys' weren't so much fooled as they found her 'chips' useful to throw whenever there was a serious difference of opinion.

[photo below from]

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