Debating Tips for the Holdays

This post is inspired by the Atlantic Article called "If You Must Talk Politics at Thanksgiving, Here's How: 10 Unsatisfying Rules For Disagreeing With Friends and Families Over the Holidays."

Their suggestions are good advice for any time of year,  although I'd recommend avoiding any and all serious discussion during a holiday if you possibly can. It's a time to be welcoming our nearest and dearest, not driving them away.


Still... I am aware that some of us have friends, neighbors, community members, or relations who just cannot be discouraged from venting at our political affiliation, religion, or other differences. Then you have but few (angelic) choices: refuse to discuss it, defend yourself respectfully, leave or ask them to leave (if it is your house.)

If you find yourself tempted into the fray, then may these tips be of some help to you. This is how I try to approach such discussions (though I'll admit I don't always handle it perfectly either.)

The basic strategy here boils down to respecting the person even when you don't agree with them at all. This may mean ignoring what can seem like a personal attack on your status in the group and your personal worth. Even if a personal attack is exactly what is intended, it never helps to point this aspect out.  It's not about who is right or wrong, but surviving until dessert is served. You need a fire extinguisher, not gasoline.

My tips:  It is helpful if you make an effort to acknowledge all valid points from the other side, and accept in advance that the most you are ever going to do is sow some seeds of doubt in the 100% rightness of their position. Never even hope you can change the other person's mind entirely, as that way endless debates and acrimony loom. The other side assumes that nothing will do but their total submission to your incredible wisdom, and that just ain't gonna happen, Hoss.

Stick with demanding a little respect for your differences - and let the rest go. Say what you think is the most important parts of why you believe/live as you do, back it up with what facts you have, and (ideally) look for the earliest moment to end the debate in a way that is respectful to both sides...without retreat...without hard feelings. Grit your teeth if you must, but realize this is the best gift of peace and love you can offer to everyone at the gathering. It is the wise thing to do.

Family fights are memorable but NOT great for cozy holiday memories, which is why debates like this should be avoided whenever possible, and ended quickly when they arise, as long as this doesn't steamroll others' self-worth.

Opinions are like noses, everybody has one and they all drop *ahem* less than delightful offerings from time to time. Yeah...eeeeewwww

 (and a tissue box)

Happy New Year!

Hope yours is lovely! We spent a quiet New Year's Eve. We had some nice snacks we set aside, but didn't feel like anything noisy, so regular TV was out. Haven't liked the "New Year's Eve" specials in years so we just don't bother. We did go see "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" (in 2D- matinee pricing) and it was as wonderful as we'd hoped! So that's a nice note for the transition to 2011. I was beginning to be concerned we wouldn't manage to catch it. There were a number of family films that sounded promising this year but we couldn't afford to see all of them.

They really caught the feel of that most famous image of the Dawn Treader. I loved those skies! Reminded me of realMyst for a minute, then I recalled that I had loved the sky effect in that game in part because it reminded me of the picture of the Dawn Treader, so its more like coming full circle to my original inspirations... I was disappointed more people weren't there with us, but its near the end of the rather short run. At least those with us laughed and sighed at the right moments. You can't count on that anymore.

Which brings me to what tipped me over into blogging tonight ~

**WARNING I am not advocating reading the comments beneath the story in that link. Many aren't family friendly. I am just saying I read them while thinking about the article...

I just read a long set of comments on a story about how attendance is down at the theaters during the holidays** (and generally). There seems to be some surprise that people aren't going to the movies more when they did in the Big Depression (Is this a sideways acknowledgement of where we really are?). They expect 2011 will be even worse. (hhmmm..not expecting a boom economy soon then?)


Its really not that hard to figure.

1) Discretionary spending is down. People bought the expected presents so they didn't see as many movies, especially at Christmas.

2) MANY people are disenchanted with Hollyweird's lack of family-friendliness, political leanings, and/or anti-mainstream messages... Even those who are okay with that part of it are getting burnt out by the repetitiveness and mediocrity that seems to plague most releases.

3) The only exceptions to the general public distrust are for Pixar's family films, (and those that manage to get near that standard. Dreamworks has had quite a few good ones lately.) ...and even those are hurt by the high prices of film going these days. Popcorn and drink prices have always been outrageous, compared with usual cost, but now the regular ticket prices plus concession fare could set you back as much as a cheap DVD player plus a recent DVD film...that's when you really notice.

4) ...and those high prices get even higher when you 'have' to see it in 3D. Not many good films need 3D, it makes many people queasy/headache-y, and there are warnings that its not good for the eyesight of young children ~ which discourages even more families from making the sacrifice.

My family is among the many that actively avoids full price generally and 3D showings specifically. This relates to the movies we especially wanted to see on the BIG screen, most films we're content to wait. We last endured 3D for Toy Story 3, which is a great film, but would have been better for us without that gimmick. We felt sick afterward. This doesn't make the 'great movie experience.' We have enough issues with the increasing use of 'air fresheners' in area cinemas. We'd love it if they would stop the obligatory 3D releases. 

5) Yes, people want distraction from their current worries but there is more and cheaper competition.

When movies were king in the last 'recession,' there was no 'after-market' of DVD (formerly VHS) and color TVs at home. If you waited a few months to see the latest cool movie in the 30's, you likely wouldn't see it at all.

There were no game consoles, often with a cheap back library of greatest hits titles to play once you saved up for it. (I'm not talking the deep pockets- first adopters here, this is the masses who have to CHOOSE what to save to see.) Some people are even discovering what I've known for years, that replaying old favorite games can be fun and relaxing. For example, I have replayed "Mario Sunshine" every winter since we got it. Cheers me up a treat. Used to do the same thing each winter with my fav adventure game before 'Sunshine' came out for that 'virtual fun in the sun' experience. (The old Zelda games help too. ;)

There was no cable TV, just radio, and that had only a few channels. Even with the generally poor choices you can usually find something decent on much of the time, especially on the documentary and classic movie channels. If you can't afford cable anymore, I'm betting you've already cut movie theaters out of your budget.

There was no internet, with online places to hang with your crowd and entertain yourselves...no (or low) additional surcharge, not to mention the free public domain movies online, free uni courses, freeware games, demos, hosted documentaries and the many funny clips on youtube...and that's for the non-bibliophiles. Books are still very popular at my house. You can still buy amusing books for less than a dollar at area thrift stores ;-)

6) Movie theaters are becoming less and less comfortable in many locations. I am not picking on our area theaters, because the big megaplex tries very hard to make their place worth the money (and generally they succeed). Even the budget place has been doing much better lately, though they really need to clean the glass in front of the projection booth.

But poor or tight, a lot movie theaters are not cleaning as often as they should, many have tiny chairs, tinny worn-out speakers that produce unpleasant loud noises instead of THX-style productions and/or inconsiderate cinema experiences (much of this from other audience members, but it still impacts the results.) 3D glasses just add to the annoyances.

7)  Did I mention people are feeling broke? Gas is going up again. News stories are gloomy. Gloomy movies are the last thing most people want to see, but that is still what Hollyweird wants to make and what it honors in its artists year after year. People I know want fantasies they can lose themselves in for an hour or three, with a happy ending, or at least a ~ mostly ~ happy ending.

So ~ if Christian-tinged stories do not offend you, if you can afford it this week, and if you can find it in 2D, I can heartily recommend Dawn Treader to you, since it is more than able to fulfill such requirements. ;-)

"Tangled" is pretty good too. :)

A Resolution I can Live With!

I rarely do the New Year's Resolution thing. I take even promises to myself seriously, and I'd rather be practical about any improvements I hope to make, but thanks to Detweilermom, this year I have found a resolution I can safely huggle. All I have to do is read a dozen mysteries in a year. I've been known to do as much in a month!





Apparently there is the possibility of goodies for officially participating. Sounds good to me!

White Christmas!

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We got that snow they called for! At least 8-11 inches worth covered the ground (and everything else outside.) Woohoo! Thank You God for the neat present!  We weren't up to doing a lot of running around anyway, so we just have stayed home and enjoyed it. Its made the view outside our doors and windows so lovely. Somehow snow just makes cocoa and wassail (spiced fruit punch) taste even better! I hope to get some pics today before it seriously starts to melt away again. Now...after all that cold weather, they say we will have highs in the 40's, then 50's, then back up to 60's by New Year's Day. That'll work though, as we will need to get groceries and such by then. ;)

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Becka's 2010 Digital Christmas Card!

Hope your Christmas is merry! Rebecca's card for 2010 is up. I didn't finish my story this time, but there are stories from previous years if you'd like to refresh your holiday memories of us.

It isn't snowing yet, but there's a very good chance we'll see some of the white stuff before Christmas Day is over. Prezzies wait 'neath the tree. There's eggnog in the fridge and the roast is being prepared for tomorrow. We're feeling better today, and still recovering slowly. Hope your holidays are blessed too.



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Gift Cards & Snow!

Got directed toward this helpful site for comparing gift card policies and realized I really should share, seeing as many of you may be about to grab a few before the big meet-up 'neath Grandma's Christmas tree. We've never had trouble using the gift cards we've received over the years, but its good to know which ones are good at all chain stores and which ones are not!

     In personal news, we're still getting over that bug, which makes even mailing difficult since that's a 'treasure' we'd rather not share. OTOH we gottsa snow!! A few days ago we got a real winter-ish snow and several inches of the wet white stuff. Since we haven't felt well enough to do much shopping this year, we didn't miss out on much. We just stayed home, drank cocoa, and watched it fall. It stuck around too, unlike the last time where it fell in the wee hours and was melted by mid-morning. I was worried that might be the only snow but ~ nope, we have been able to see a winter wonderland at all hours this week :D

Since there was some ice due to it melting and refreezing, we've pretty much stayed home since. Went to see one friend, and even that was pushing it given we're still in recovery mode. Its snowing again tonight, but its a lot gentler than the forecast suggested. We still have to get some stuff done, so not having another full winter storm is good news. Even better is the report that we could have a little snow on Christmas itself! That hardly ever happens here!

In other holiday-related news, Ye Olde Guilt-Provoking Snowglobe is still available it seems. Couldn't find embed code but the site's ratings are okay. Of course, there's always Strongbad's Snowglobe Enjoy! (If you are so inclined :)
 

4 Chanukah

I don't normally think about Chanukah / Hanukkah that much. Its an inspiring story, but for me this is Advent, the Christmas season. Just the same I am publicly offering my best wishes for the celebrants of Hanukkah this holiday season because I have wanted to share Marty Goetz's awesome song for the occasion ever since I first heard it. "Chanukah" is a worthy reflection for any sincere believer in Almighty God.I hope it will bless you too.

Happy Holidays!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude. ~E.P. Powell

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Hope yours is blessed too!

     Our holiday this year is the semi-quiet (everybody's coughing) stay-at-home kind, especially seeing we are all still dealing with a rotten bug (possibly pertussis as its going around in our area). Most of us were actually much worse last week, so we are getting better! We stuck with Pillsbury cinnamon rolls for brunch. We recorded and later watched the usual Macy's Thanksgiving parade when we felt up to it, which is actually an improvement as we can skip the commercials we don't like. Dinner is lasagna. Maybe we'll do the apple pie afterward. Its not a bad way to spend the day, though not very exciting. We had hoped to go out and see a movie but we're not up to that yet either. So we'll just make our Thanksgiving a multi-day event and celebrate it as it works for us. The turkey and pumpkin pie can wait a couple of days.




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It is literally true, as the thankless say, that they have nothing to be thankful for. He who sits by the fire, thankless for the fire, is just as if he had no fire. Nothing is possessed save in appreciation, of which thankfulness is the indispensable ingredient. But a thankful heart hath a continual feast. ~W.J. Cameron

O Lord that lends me life,
Lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.
~William Shakespeare

For, after all, put it as we may to ourselves, we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spread. The sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet.... Shall we think of the day as a chance to come nearer to our Host, and to find out something of Him who has fed us so long? ~Rebecca Harding Davis

     We really do feel grateful to God today (and most every day.) It may not seem like it to others who see us coughing right now or dealing with other trials but God has been blessing our lives right along. He bent last week's schedule around so that it worked even with all of us ill and unable to go anywhere. The biggest miracle looks across from me every evening. I lost track of the number of times God kept Tom alive and better than medical science expected after all the damage he's had inside. Every hour we have with him is a new gift. God paid for the care too, getting us the help to come through when it was most needed. In fact God has upheld, protected, and provided for us all these years despite some very  major malice that has been directed our way. Some people just thank God when they get unexpected help and/or their natural provision takes a hit or fails, but we've been in that position more often than not. God's provision for us has not failed in all the years we've had to depend so hard on Him. Glory to His name!  We've got this feeling there are other blessings too that are just about to come into view. Praise God He is Our Salvation!

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues. ~Cicero

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven. ~Johannes A. Gaertner

Perhaps it takes a purer faith to praise God for unrealized blessings than for those we once enjoyed or those we enjoy now. ~A.W. Tozer

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Happy Mother's Day!

(Cool quotes Gwabbled.)

All I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother. -Abraham Lincoln

My mother is probably the wisest person I’ve ever known. She’s not schooled, she’s not well read. But she has a philosophy of life that makes well-read people seem like morons. -Gene Simmons

The older I get the more of my mother I see in myself. -Nancy Friday

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. -Honore de Balzac

A mother’s love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking. – Helen Rice

The love she has deep in her heart, Always gives me a good jump start, She is the one who’s love is true. Thank u Mom for being u – Anonymous

Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn, Hundreds of bees in the purple clover, Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn, But only one mother the wide world over. – George Cooper


Mommy, I Love You For all that you do. I’ll kiss you and hug you Cause you love me, too. –Anonymous

A man’s work is from sun to sun, but a mother’s work is never done. – Author Unknown

Mom’s smiles can brighten any moment, Mom’s hugs put joy in all our days, Mom’s love will stay with us ever and touch our lives in precious ways… – Anonymous


A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. – Tenneva Jordan

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. – Attributed to Claudia Ghandi



My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. – Graycie Harmon

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love. – Mildred B. Vermont

My Mother, my friend so dear, Throughout my life you’re always near, A tender smile to guide my way, You’re the sunshine to light my day. – Anonymous

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. – Sophia Loren

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest. – Spanish Proverb

Happy Easter!

Hope yours was very blessed. We had a quiet celebration this year. We thanked Christ repeatedly for what He has done for us all, had our eggs scrambled, rather than hard-boiled, and opted for pastries rather than candy. Tonight's dinner was garlic lamb roast with a curried cous cous and steamed veggies. Very tasty! Otherwise we spent the weekend gardening. The flower garden has been refreshed. The roses are doing well. We have only just started the practical stuff. This will be the first year we've tried growing strawberries since I was a kid. We are all hoping that God blesses that venture particularly. There's nothing quite like eating fresh strawberries :D

Here is the Easter song we play every year. I pray it will also bless your heart.

Happy St Patrick's Day!

May you have:
A world of wishes at your command
God and his angels close at hand
Friends and family their love impart,
And Irish blessings in your heart.

May God grant you many years to live,
For sure he must be knowing
The earth has angels all too few
And Heaven is overflowing.

These things I warmly wish to you-
Someone to love
Some work to do
A bit o' sun
A bit o' cheer
And a guardian angel always near.

May you be in
Heaven a half hour before the
Devil knows you're dead!

May those who love us, love us
And those who don't love us,
May God turn their hearts
And if he can't turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limping!



May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.




May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.

May the best day of your past
Be the worst day of your future.

God is good, but never dance in a small boat.


As you slide down the banister of life,
May the splinters never point in the wrong direction!

May you always have
Walls for the winds,
A roof for the rain,
Tea beside the fire,
Laughter to cheer you,
Those you love near you,
And all your heart might desire!

Dance as if no one were watching,
Sing as if no one were listening,
And live every day as if it were your last.

May Christ e'er be our companion
May true friends stand by our side
May her history remind us all
Of Ireland's faith and pride.
May God bless us with happiness
May love and faith abide.

Grant me a sense of humor, Lord,
the saving grace to see a joke,
To win some happiness from life,
And pass it on to other folks.

May the good saints protect you
And bless you today
And may troubles ignore you
Each step of the way

Christ be with me, Christ be within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger
Christ in hearts of all that love me
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.


FROM THE BREASTPLATE OF SAINT PATRICK

Deep peace of the running waves to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the smiling stars to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the watching shepherds to you.
Deep peace of the Son of Peace to you
AN OLD GAELIC PRAYER

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Go mbeannai Dia duit
(May God Bless You)

A Belated Happy New Year!

We've had rotten colds around here lately & the week just kinda vanished. Yes, I am feeling better, thanks. I plan to take it easy this weekend too. I don't want it back. Got some books to read anyway. heh

Our New Year's Eve was quiet, as usual. We drank a little sparkling wine (or apple juice), thanked God for getting us through another tough year, prayed for His help with next year, and relaxed with some family-friendly video games.

Hope yours was good too.

This will change later, but right now you can see a cute New Year's Card from Jackie if you click this picture.

Snow? What Snow?

Its raining. Its pouring.
The roses are growing.
It warmed right back up
and delighted the ducks
who paddled about this morning!

heh

I bother to mention the actual weather, because the national media keeps erroneously listing us as also getting the white stuff. We got like 2/3 of one inch..for about 12hrs...a few days ago. Its been chilly some days, mild other days. Today its mild and wet. Tomorrow it should clear up and give us warmer weather - and without the precipitation for once. :)

I guess most of the US is out of that drought now? I sure hope so. I know people were worried. Anyway, I hope your day has been at least as peaceful as ours. From what the news says, some folks are still stuck in airports and stuff.

We stayed home. DS was still a bit under the weather, but not so bad off he couldn't play with his goodies. We decided to have the snacky stuff today and hold off on the big meal until DS feels up to eating with us, which made Christmas Day more of a holiday than usual for ME. lol We had bought more snacks than we'd realized anyway. ;-)

The unwrapping is long over and its all quiet at the moment and will probably stay that way....until the kitties steal another bit of shiny wrapping paper from the bag. DH has been reading (He has a new Pratchett among other things). Mom's exploring her treats while wearing her new Indian scarf. DD has been reading the manga books she wanted. I just finished my moderating thingy on my wonderful new writer's keyboard. I don't know when I will get around to using the cool medieval-style quill pen & parchment set my family gave me, but I am already relishing the thought. All in all, its been a nice Christmas thus far. Hope yours is too.

Merry Christmas!

I make a conscious effort every year to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, and let them know I celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ (whether it was this season or September or whenever!)

I was sent these images from a friend who asked that a wish of good cheer be passed along to email friends. Okay, will do (have done, actually)...but I just had to share here too because these images are so neat!

This is also the formal announcement that DD is now uploading her new beautiful new digital Christmas card to our usual Christmas site - www.santapenguin.com . You can click this pp..or the pictures to go see it :D